Why I Don't Enter Pageants

Ward (3:20:16 PM): are you working today?
Sharon (3:20:22 PM): Yes
Ward (3:22:13 PM): we both suck then
Sharon (3:22:20 PM): big time
Sharon (3:22:32 PM): My flats I'm wearing have zippers on them
Sharon (3:22:38 PM): like only one side of a zipper
Sharon (3:22:52 PM): anyway I just accidentally scraped it across the leg of my chair and it sounded like a really loud fart
Sharon (3:23:40 PM): No one heard it though. I covered the noise by actually farting much louder than the fake fart.
Ward (3:23:46 PM): haha
Ward (3:23:48 PM): awesome!
Sharon (3:24:12 PM): I'm a lady.