Best Date Advice Ever

A friend of mine is taking a girl out on a first date, and I offered him ten suggestions that he could throw out whenever he felt an awkward moment approaching.

I'm probably the bestest friend ever.

1) Wow, if I knew you were going to wear that, I wouldn't have dressed up!

2) On a scale of 1 to 10 how attracted are you to me at this moment? (Good time to grab her inappropriately).

3) Didn't you think our waitress was hot?

4) Please don't be offended if I jump up and take a phone call. My ex should be calling me any minute.

5) Are you going to eat that? Well, you probably shouldn't. (Then eye her midsection)

6) Did you bring your wallet? Cause I didn't.

7) My last girlfriend didn't really break up with me per se. It's really the restraining order that keeps us apart.

8) Should we order dessert? (Then eye her midsection again)

9) Will you pass me the salt? Thanks. No I don't want any, I just think you've had enough.

10) I hope you're a good kisser, cause I'm not.