Mary Lou the Frog RIP Jan 2008-Feb 2009

Mary Lou Reynolds was found dead in her home on Friday, February 27, 2009. One of hundreds of tadpoles, Mary Lou was captured at the age of 3 minutes and kept in a prison filled with various other animals and domestic pet supplies until her adulthood. At the age of 5 months, she was purchased and given as a gift to Sharon Reynolds in July 2008. Being a cruel woman, Miss Reynolds kept Mary Lou in a clear box giving Mary Lou almost no privacy. Mary Lou's only relief was the introduction to her lover Hampton Reynolds. Although less of an escape artist, Hampton was also very adventurous as he is the only frog to ever own a mustang convertible.

Mary Lou was survived by Hampton and Sharon Reynolds and probably a thousand brothers and sisters.

The memorial will be held at Bass Concert Hall this Sunday. Her caretaker asks that in lieu of flowers, donations are sent to Bank of America Account #23395.

You Must Have Had A Great Night If...

1) You wake up with half a bratwurst on your bed.

2) You have an almost empty glass of water by your bed that you don't remember getting.

3) Your driver's license falls off your boob as you're about to get into the shower.

4) You find multiple texts to your ex on your cell phone the next day.

And in my case this morning...

5) You realize at about noon that you've been walking around the office with your zipper down all morning...and you don't really care.

He's Gotta Learn Somehow

This boy just came from the dentist and, with the help of anesthetics, is doing a great impression of what he's going to look like to women, with the help of jager, in about 15 years.