Girls' Weekend!

Although it's only Thursday, Girl's Weekend Part II 2008 starts tonight! Our girls weekends are when a group of us, single and married, get together and laugh so hard at least two of us pee in our pants. It's where the married girls flirt with the single guys, and when the guy thinks he has a chance she says, "Uuuh whatever! I'm married." It's where the married girls come out expecting a show. It's where the single girls try their hardest to produce that show. Because if their married friends can't make out with strangers, dagnabbit, single girls are going to do it for them! It's where broken-hearted girls are taken out on the town by their girlfriends, and reminded of how fun they truly are and how happy they can truly be.

Our first night will be at Alamo Ritz's 90s Hip Hop sing-a-long. I plan on wearing a jogging suit with my hair styled into a hi-top fade. Oh how the boys will follow.

Just when you thought you were alone...

Did you know that Vultures pee on themselves? Their urine keeps their body clean by destroying harmful pathogens that get on them as they rummage through rotting meat.

They also vomit at you as a defense mechanism. When threatened, they'll spew rancid vomit that's smell alone could make you faint. And some vultures' vomit is so acidic that it can burn you.

See, this is the very reason why I refuse to date vultures.

Even Sharon

I was offering a friend advice who said he was feeling stressed. All he has to do is type five words in a chat session and then he gets a novel back. Anyway, as I was offering advice--a.k.a. I was babbling on and on as if the words were in my head and not in a chat session--I realized something about myself: that I am too positive for my own good.

My problem isn't that I'm depressed because things aren't happening. My problem is that I'm happy even if things aren't going my way. I'm generally content. But I need to be mad. I need to get angry and fight for what I want--instead of trusting that it will happen. And even as I typed that sentence, in my head I said, "But it will."I think there's no hope for me.

The ones that succeed aren't the content. It's those that had to overcome struggles to get where they are. They had to fight to prove themselves.

Maybe this is a confidence problem. As in I'm too confident that things are going to work out for me. Actually I do find that I have a sort of Seinfeld thing going on with me where everything seems to balance out. I lose two friends, I gain four. I forget to bring my lunch to work, and a client brings lunch to the office. I lose a hundred dollars, I find a hundred dollars on the floor of a bar downtown. (Okay the last one really happened. I was short on cash and found a hundred dollars on the ground when my earring randomly dropped to my feet. I initially thought the money fell out of my wallet--since I had a hundred dollars in my wallet that night. And then when I went to put the money in my wallet, CHA-CHING!--It was already there. It did occur to me to attempt to find its owner, but I knew that the first person I asked would claim it. )

Light Bulb!

I took this photo the Saturday morning after Halloween as I waited for everyone to wake up after crashing the night before.

The low aperture (fuzzy background) helps to hide the broken bulbs on the light strand that were broken the night before courtesy of someone dressed as "Two-Face." When the light strand fell to the floor, the broken glass made a home on my shins, maybe in my drink, and all over the guy dressed in Goth to my right.

Later Goth Guy was puking all over our host's dishes in her sink. I like to think these two events are related somehow.

Tall Man Costume Idea

I have no idea if this has been done before, or that I may not do it myself in the future. BUT I was discussing costume ideas with a friend of mine who is 6'5'', and I had an idea that I thought would be cute for him. I'm posting it here, because after talking to him I gathered that he was a little bah-humbug about Halloween this year and probably wasn't going to put much effort into a costume at all, let alone one so cute.

I don't think it's Halloween in general that he scrooges (making that a verb), I think it has more to do with the annoying girl that was invited to the party his brother was hosting. You know the one; all she needs to dress up as an M&M is green underwear and chocolate syrup poured over her as she dances on her female dance partner making not-so-subtle glances around the room to make sure that all the guys are watching her.

This costume is nothing like that. I thought that my 6'5'' friend should be (drumroll) The Beanstalk! He can dress all in green, wrap some garland around his body, and then have a tiny Jack climbing his arm. He could even wear a hat made of fluff that is just one big cloud around his head.

With all that buildup, I'm feeling like that idea is not so great. No matter. That's not my costume anyway. For Halloween, I'm going to be this guy:

Doritos

Walking through the hallway outside our office, I smelled either Doritos or dog's feet. Did you know that those smells are interchangeable?

My Spoon's Too Big

Stephen Hawking? da Vinci? Einstein? No. To me, true genius is the film below by Don Hertzfeldt. No need to take notes.

Caption me!

"Tired of trying to cross the highway with the rest of his Frogger pals, Hampton is taking matters into his own hands."

Grape Jelly

How much does my dad love grape jelly on his toast?? ...This much!

These bags of water are supposed to repel flies, but I guess this really is the best place to be if you're a fly and you need some alone time.