Light Bulb!

I took this photo the Saturday morning after Halloween as I waited for everyone to wake up after crashing the night before.

The low aperture (fuzzy background) helps to hide the broken bulbs on the light strand that were broken the night before courtesy of someone dressed as "Two-Face." When the light strand fell to the floor, the broken glass made a home on my shins, maybe in my drink, and all over the guy dressed in Goth to my right.

Later Goth Guy was puking all over our host's dishes in her sink. I like to think these two events are related somehow.

Tall Man Costume Idea

I have no idea if this has been done before, or that I may not do it myself in the future. BUT I was discussing costume ideas with a friend of mine who is 6'5'', and I had an idea that I thought would be cute for him. I'm posting it here, because after talking to him I gathered that he was a little bah-humbug about Halloween this year and probably wasn't going to put much effort into a costume at all, let alone one so cute.

I don't think it's Halloween in general that he scrooges (making that a verb), I think it has more to do with the annoying girl that was invited to the party his brother was hosting. You know the one; all she needs to dress up as an M&M is green underwear and chocolate syrup poured over her as she dances on her female dance partner making not-so-subtle glances around the room to make sure that all the guys are watching her.

This costume is nothing like that. I thought that my 6'5'' friend should be (drumroll) The Beanstalk! He can dress all in green, wrap some garland around his body, and then have a tiny Jack climbing his arm. He could even wear a hat made of fluff that is just one big cloud around his head.

With all that buildup, I'm feeling like that idea is not so great. No matter. That's not my costume anyway. For Halloween, I'm going to be this guy:

Doritos

Walking through the hallway outside our office, I smelled either Doritos or dog's feet. Did you know that those smells are interchangeable?

My Spoon's Too Big

Stephen Hawking? da Vinci? Einstein? No. To me, true genius is the film below by Don Hertzfeldt. No need to take notes.

Caption me!

"Tired of trying to cross the highway with the rest of his Frogger pals, Hampton is taking matters into his own hands."

Grape Jelly

How much does my dad love grape jelly on his toast?? ...This much!

These bags of water are supposed to repel flies, but I guess this really is the best place to be if you're a fly and you need some alone time.

What's that smell?

On News Of the Weird today, they mentioned a woman that probably died in the early 70s, yet her mummified body was JUST found THIS YEAR.

It's one thing to die alone--very sad. But to rot alone for 30 years? The poor woman didn't even have a funeral!

This year I will combine my birthday to be a celebration of my birth, and it will also be her belated funeral. It will be a FUN-eral. Don't be late.

Achoo!

This is why I don't eat panda meat.

A Banana in My Box

As if there isn't enough temptation in my life already with all the alcohol and the food and then there's the alcohol I was talking about, some good-intentioned stranger drops off a box of sugar and thunder thighs for the taking at work. I tried to not even look at the pastries once I heard about the little fat-demons waiting for me in the break room. However, every five minutes someone new comes to my desk and says, "Did you see the pastries in the break room? Yum! So many different choices! SO MANY CHOICES!!!"

At first I was like, "REALLY?" equally ready to wheelbarrow all that I could to my desk. But then I thought about the little banana at my desk. What a condescending little jerk. It's saying, "Shouldn't you stay away from those guys, Sharon? I'm so much better for you. But if you want to be a fat ass, then be a fat ass. It's up to you.
***whistles and shuffles its feet***"

I figured instead of stuffing my face, I may as well be healthy and have the chance to bite the head off of my banana with its rude, imaginary dialogue.

So I did it. I ate the banana and not one piece of pastry.

Banana - 1 Pastry - 0

To make myself feel as if I was cheating, I set my banana in the pastry box before eating it as if I had just grabbed a pastry instead. This kind of eating psychology may seem ridiculous and unnecessary, but you don't live in the same world as I do. My world is full of talking bananas, tap-dancing corn dogs and singing M&Ms.