Cashierophobia

I feel uncomfortable when I go to the grocery store and I know the cashier will know something about my life from the groceries I buy. If the contents of my cart are the exact items to purchase before a camping trip, I feel uncomfortable that the cashier knows I'll be camping that night. If I buy lasagna ingredients, wine, and fresh flowers, I feel uncomfortable that the cashier knows that I'm cooking for company that night. Make sense? I don't know why this makes me uncomfortable. In college, I bought a pregnancy test for a friend who kept putting off buying one herself (yes, it was really for a friend!), and in order to confuse the cashier I also bought powder and tampons. The powder was so I wasn't only buying feminine products, and the tampons were to show him I was still feeling optimistic about the results.

It's also apparent in other situations with strangers. For instance, as I was walking to the coffee shop I'm typing in right now, for a moment I worried that if I came to this coffee shop too much they may begin to recognize me and possibly know my order. So I decided I may have to find another one soon. Then it occurred to me: why am I so scared of becoming a regular?

You'd think I was a very timid person. In actuality, I'm very social and quite the opposite of shy. So why in the world do I hesitate before allowing a grocery store cashier know that I buy a lot of Lean Cuisines and yogurt? Is it because I know that if I was in his or her position, I would be paying attention to everything in a person's cart? I would try to access what kind of person they are, if they are single, if they cook, if they're attempting to impress a date that night. Actually, I do that anyway. That's right. When you are in front of me in line, I see your cat food, your Cheese Whiz, your 12 pack. I notice the Bagel Bites, the wine and flowers, or the frozen pizzas. I'll make a (dare I say) judgement about who you are by what you buy or your subtle body language. I'm in love with human behavior. Maybe my problem is that I'm afraid that others are too.